Would You Say that to my Face?
Is it just me, or do some people say things in email message that they wouldn’t dream of saying to your face?
I remember when email was just evolving. I read a note on etiquette and one of the things that the author said was that “at some point all people will send an email that they will regret”. How many times do you reply to message that raise your hair… only to delete the response. Some email messages have me actually leave my desk and take a walk.
One thing I have noted is that when people are frustrated or feeling lost in a process they might shoot off a note that is borderline rude. It is clear that they haven’t really thought it through. More often than not, the email message is “out of character”. You know, when you think to yourself “that doesn’t sound like Mrs. X”. What is the best way to deal with it? Ironically I think the answer is to rely on an old technology. Pick up the phone and call.
It seems apparent that people are more apt to write things in email that they quite frankly wouldn’t say to your face. Am I wrong about this?
I always remember that note about “one day regretting an email that I have sent”. I always ask myself, would I say that to a person if they were in the room with me? If the answer is no… the email gets deleted.
The workplace has to be respectful. The respect is recipricol and has to apply equally between service provider and service receiver. Some times written corrospondence shouldn’t replace a good old fashioned telephone call.
Tell me your thoughts on this… I would love to see your comment added below.
Cheers -
David A. West
I agree 100% – it seems to be that we don not have either sight or sound of another individual, our brains shut down the etiquette portion!
And it has not been just email.
The discussions on the old Bulletin Board Systems (BBS) and early USENET (alt.news.newusers anyone?) were famous (infamous?) for the ‘flame wars.
The most mundane comment could launch weeks of vitriolic output.
I am sure there must be a psychological reason – but all the same – it is counter productive and dangerous
Doubly so when it is anonymous – hiding behind a screen name
Thanks for your comment Elliot.
Also in 100% agreement here. People seem to forget a number of things when it comes to internet ettiquette in general. First and foremost, any electronic means of communication automatically removes that human touch. Something that is said tongue-in-cheek, for example, soes not have the benefit of tone of voice to relay that message completely. And yes, email and blogging can often lend that feeling of anonymity, even though you’re speaking with someone you may have frequent communication with the person you are speaking to/about. Just like a few too many drinks can lower your inhibitions in a socail setting, so can the the thought of an anonymous message. (And God forbid if you’re doing both at once!)
Finally, with the proliferation of social networking sites and blogs on line, people seem to forget that there’s more information about us available to public viewing. Every so often you hear about some poor sap who missed out on his dream job, or got fired from a current one, because an employer found out about his Facebook ranting or that he joined some inappropriate blogging group. Yes, some employers will google you, and almost anything you put out there will come to light for them. Same goes for dating. It would be interesting to see how many people have actually had business/personal relationships go awry because they let something as basic as ettiquette and common sense fly out the window just because they thought they had the mask of a computer on.